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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?*


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BRAIN53
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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?*
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PostPosted: Thu 02 Aug, 2007

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?*





*DR. PHIL*:

The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that

he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road

before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the

road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's

acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding

"NEW" problems.



*OPRAH:*

Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is

why he wants to cross this road so badly. So instead of having

the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which are a

part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he

can just drive across the road and not live his life like the

rest of the chickens.



*GEORGE W BUSH*:

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just

want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.

The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle

ground here.



*DONALD RUMSFELD*:

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite

image of the chicken crossing the road.



*ANDERSON** COOPER/CNN:*

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not

yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.



*JOHN KERRY*:

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now

against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled

about the chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain

against it.



*JUDGE JUDY*:

That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see

it in his eyes and the way he walks.



*PAT BUCHANAN*:

To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.



*MARTHA STEWART*:

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I

had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when

the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any

insider information.



*DR. SEUSS*:

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?

Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not

been told.



*ERNEST HEMINGWAY*:

To die in the rain. Alone.



*JERRY FALWELL*:

Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain

truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other

side." That's why they call it the "other side. Yes, my friends,

that chicken is gay.



*GRANDPA*:

In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.

Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good

enough.



*BARBARA WALTERS*:

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening

to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story

of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to

accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.



*JOHN LENNON*:

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together -

in peace.

*ARISTOTLE*:

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.



*BILL GATES*:

I have just released eChicken2005, which will not only cross

roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and

balance your check book. Internet explorer is an integral part

of eChicken. The Platform is much more stable and will never

cra...#@&&^( C \... (reboot).



*ALBERT EINSTEIN*:

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move

beneath the chicken?



*BILL CLINTON*:

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your

definition of chicken?



*AL** GORE*:

I invented the chicken!



*COLONEL SANDERS*:



Did I miss one?
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jkf
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Joined: 25 Nov 2005
Posts: 3454
Location: Your Right Temporal Lobe
Re: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?*
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PostPosted: Fri 03 Aug, 2007

LOL... and a few more...



***Jim Morrison***
To "Break on Through" to the other side...



***Robert Frost***
To walk on the "Road Less Travelled"



***Led Zeppelin
To buy a "Stairway to Heaven"
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