The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad
news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'
The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into
the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.
'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we
things don't go so well.. In this case, things aren't well. I have
cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini.'
After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less sombre.
There were some laughs and more martinis.
They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends,
who were curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told
her friends they were drinking to her impending end, 'I've been
diagnosed with AIDS.'
The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a
After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and
whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and
you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do
'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father
after I'm gone.'
And THAT, my friends, is what women call, 'PUTTING YOUR AFFAIRS IN
Men you better watch out for us women, we are wise