WastedTimes

A group of 2nd, 3rd and 4th graders, accompanied
by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the
local racetrack (Churchill Downs)to learn about
thoroughbred horses and the supporting
industry ...

THE 5 ANSWERS WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR

Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR?
A: It's Braille for "suck here".

Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: ...

A Scotsman asks the dentist the cost for a tooth extraction.

"$85 for an extraction sir," was the dentist's reply.

"$85! Huv ye no' got anythin' cheaper?"

"That's the normal charge," said ...

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked toward the object, only to find a lit ...

A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the hospital
when during her tour, she passed a room where a male patient was
masturbating furiously.

"Oh my GOD!!" screamed the woman, "That ...

A group of men are sitting in a sauna discussing business and stocks when suddenly a cellular phone rings.

"Hi honey, are you at the club?"

"Yes, dear."

"Honey you won't believe this but I'm ...

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, "SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?"

WELL... YOU'LL ENJOY THIS ONE!

I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMEN ...

A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move. "You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a c ...

A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. He
sat down at the kitchen table, le ...

"I tell you what. Somebody needs to tell that mayor of Chocolate City
to get those chocolate chips off of their asses and stop waiting for the
caramels to rebuild their houses and the vanilla's t ...

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By
giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.
...in this unlikely, fictional situation in which you will ha ...

The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully
served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for one of
his aides to come near.

"Yes Father" said the aide.
...

A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, a
man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.

"No," he says, "the seat is empty."

"This is incredi ...