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BRAIN53

Mon 27 Feb, 2006


Drive In Banking

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A sign in the Bank Lobby reads:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Customers using this <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> After months of careful research,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> MALE <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>&<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> FEMALE procedures have been developed.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>"<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
MALE PROCEDURE:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
1.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Drive up to the cash machine.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
2.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Put down your car window.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
3.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Insert card into machine and enter PIN.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
4.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
5.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Retrieve card,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> cash and receipt.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
6.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Put window up.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
7.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Drive off.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
FEMALE PROCEDURE:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
1.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Drive up to cash machine.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
2.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
3.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Set parking brake,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> put the window down.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
4.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Find handbag,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
5.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
6.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Attempt to insert card into machine.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
7.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
8.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Insert card.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
9.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Re-insert card the right way.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
10.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
11.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Enter PIN.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
12.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
13.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Enter amount of cash required.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
14.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Check makeup in rear view mirror.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
15.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Retrieve cash and receipt.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
16.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
17.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
18.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Re-check makeup.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
19.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Drive forward 2 feet.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
20.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Reverse back to cash machine.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
21.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Retrieve card.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
22.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Re-empty hand bag,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> locate card holder,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> and place card into the slot provided.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
23.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
24.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Restart stalled engine and pull off.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
25.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Redial person on cell phone.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
26.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Drive for 2 to 3 miles.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
27.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Release Parking Brake.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
SEND THIS TO A <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE LADIES YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT