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hbgator

Wed 22 Feb, 2006


so-called smart Yankee to take this exam

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We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> and we challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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1.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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2.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>'65 Ford Fairlane <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>'69 Chevrolet Chevelle <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>'64 Pontiac GTO.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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3.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per our,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> how many car radiators are required to condense the product?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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4.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> The plot is 2.3 acres in size.The average tree diameter is 14 inches.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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5.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> he span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine.When the porch collapses,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> how many dogs will be killed?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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6.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> A man owns a Georgia house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> The man has five children.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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7.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> The brakes fail.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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8.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> With a gene pool reduction of 7.5%<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> per generation,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy one,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> didn't ya?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> It's okay if'n ya didn't do all that well.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Just goes to show ya.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> There's a whole heap of things that big city book-learning don't prepare ya for in this life.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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As an added bonus for taking the <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>"REDNECK CHALLENGE"<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> here's some southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Next time you are too drunk to drive,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> walk to the nearest pizza shop and place an order.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> When they go to deliver it,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> catch a ride home with them.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>