----------------------------------- melz86 Tue 24 Jan, 2006 A selection of blonde Jokes! ----------------------------------- No offence to any blonde intended as i personally is blonde but love these jokes. What do you call a blonde standing on her head? A brunette with bad breath. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A guy goes to a house of prostitution. He selects a girl, pays her $200 up front, and he gets undressed. She's about to take off her sheer blue negligee, when the fire alarms rings! She runs out of the room, with his $200 still in her hand. He quickly grabs his clothes and runs out after her. He's searching the building, but the smoke gets too heavy, so he runs outside looking for her. By this time, the firemen are there. He sees one of them and asks, "Did you see a beautiful blonde, in a sheer blue negligee, with $200 in her hand?" The fireman says, "No!" The guy then says, "Well if you see her, screw her. It's paid for." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What's blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde? A fake blonde doing cartwheels ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Two brunettes and a blonde are attempting to fix a roof. While they are on the roof, a herd of cattle run by and knock down the ladder and leave a big pile of poop behind. The two brunettes decide to make the blonde check how deep the poop is so they can jump down. So the blonde jumps down and yells, "It's only ankle deep." So the two brunettes jump down and scream, "What are you talking about?! It's up to our heads!" And the blonde replies, "Well, I jumped in head first." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Redheaded mom walks into her daughter's room, finds a beer bottle and says, "I never knew my daughter drank!" A Brunette walks into her daughter's room, finds a pack of cigarettes and says, "I never knew my daughter smoked!" A Blond mom walks into her daughter's room and finds a condom. She says, "I never knew my daughter had a p***s!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: Why can't a blonde count to 70? A: Because 69's a mouthfull ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A brunette goes to the doctor and says, "Everywhere I touch it hurts." He asks "What do you mean?" So she showed him what she meant. She touched her knee and said "Ouch!" Then she touched her chest and said, "Ouch!" Then her shoulder, "Ouch!" The doctor looks at her and asks, "Your really blonde, aren''t you?" She replies "Yes, as a matter of fact I am. How did you guess?" Doctor says, "Well your finger is broken." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hope these make everyone smile like they made me :D ----------------------------------- BRAIN53 Tue 24 Jan, 2006 Re: A selection of blonde Jokes! ----------------------------------- A brunette goes to the doctor and says, "Everywhere I touch it hurts." He asks "What do you mean?" So she showed him what she meant. She touched her knee and said "Ouch!" Then she touched her chest and said, "Ouch!" Then her shoulder, "Ouch!" The doctor looks at her and asks, "Your really blonde, aren''t you?" She replies "Yes, as a matter of fact I am. How did you guess?" Doctor says, "Well your finger is broken." My favorite LOL