----------------------------------- mimi_44 Sat 03 Jul, 2010 Stupid questions and a Senior joke. ----------------------------------- As far as stupid questions go, these are the stupidest... 1. Why does your doctor leave the room when you undress? 2. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say "hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"? 3. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bulls**t? 4. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside? 5. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer? 6. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a use by date? 7. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat? 8. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? 9. Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They're both dogs. 10. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream? 11. If Wile E coyote has enough money to buy all that Acme crap why doesn't he buy his dinner? 12. Why is a person who handles money called a broker? 13. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? 14. Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass? 15. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window? Entertainment at the Senior Center It was entertainment night at the senior center and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced, "Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience." The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations." He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..." The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces. "S**t!", said the Hypnotist. It took three days to clean up the senior center. :lol: :lol: :lol: ----------------------------------- Mop Sat 03 Jul, 2010 Re: Stupid questions and a Senior joke. ----------------------------------- :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: ----------------------------------- jkf Sun 04 Jul, 2010 Re: Stupid questions and a Senior joke. ----------------------------------- He he he he... good ones and here's a few more... 1. If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to? 2. Do Chinese people get English sayings tattooed on their bodies? 3. Why do blind people wear dark glasses, yet deaf people don't wear ear muffs. 4. How can something be 'new and improved'? If itā€™s new, what was it improving on? 5. At a movie theater which arm rest is yours? 6. Why don't they sell mouse-flavored cat food? ----------------------------------- Mop Mon 05 Jul, 2010 Re: Stupid questions and a Senior joke. ----------------------------------- :D :lol: :D :lol: :D ----------------------------------- mimi_44 Mon 05 Jul, 2010 Re: Stupid questions and a Senior joke. ----------------------------------- good ones jkf, especially #4 :D