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bossman3961

Sun 20 Jan, 2008


Husband 1.0 is Malfunctioning!

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Dear Tech Support:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> severely limiting access to wardrobe,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> flower,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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No mention of this phenomenon was included in the
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product brochure.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> In addition,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> CruiseShip 2.3,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> SaturdayFootball 5.0,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Golf 2.4 and ClutterEverywhere 4.5.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Conversation 8.0 no longer runs,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> and invariably crashes the system.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1 or HouseCleaning 2.6.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> but this all purpose utility is of limited effectiveness.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Can you help please <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Jane
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<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>*<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Dear Jane:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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This is a very common problem women complain about,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> but is mostly due to a primary misconception.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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However,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Further,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> so nothing is gained.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> It is impossible to uninstall,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> delete,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> or purge the program files from the system,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> once installed.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Having Husband 1.0 installed myself,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> I would suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>(GPFs)<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part of the operating system.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> regardless of root cause.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> To activate this great feature enter the command <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>"C:I
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THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME"<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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TECH TIP!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Avoid excessive use of this feature.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Overuse can create additional and more serious GPFs,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> and ultimately YOU may have to give a C:APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal operations.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> or worse yet,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Beer 6.0.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create FatBelly files and SnoringLoudly wave files that are very hard to delete.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Save yourself some trouble by following this tech tip!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Just remember,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> the system will run smoothly and take the blame for all GPFs,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Husband 1.0 is a great program,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Consider buying additional software to improve
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performance.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> I personally recommend HotFood 3.0,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Used in conjunction,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> After several years of use,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded features such as FixesBrokenThings 2.1,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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A final word of caution!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Do NOT,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> under any
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circumstances,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> install MotherInLaw 1.0.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> This is not a supported application,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> and will cause selective shut down of the operating system.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 or Golfing 2.3 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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I hope these notes have helped.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in coming years.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>"We trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>


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hbgator

Sun 20 Jan, 2008


Re: Husband 1.0 is Malfunctioning!

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